Hiii :)

有好长一段时间都没更新这里了，

不是因为我忘了这里，

而是每一次登入之后就不知道要如何开始写出这些日子的点点滴滴...

在距离我的mid sem考试还有3天的今天，

我，

突然有这个闲情来这里抒发我内心的感受了 ...

看回上一次的帖，

是拿SPM成绩的时候...

从那之后我就去了玻璃市的matrikulasi就读...

也就是大家所谓的大学先修班

在这里，

必须要住宿舍，

一星期必须要上5天的课，

从早上8点开始直到下午4点，

之间有一小时的午餐时间……

这样的生活其实和学校没什么两样

但是这是唯一一个升大学最快最保险的捷径

而我自己也知道我不是读书的料子，

我也不喜欢读书，

又或者应该说我还没有从知识里找到我的知音吧 -.-

在第一天报到的时候

我真的还接受不到自己要入住宿舍...

当爸妈回去之后

我竟然有种想哭的感受 ...

想一想这也不奇怪

虽然我是那种不常呆在家的女孩

但出生至今都还没离开过家里到外面生活

有种不舍与害怕也是应该的

在这个宿舍生活里

我都没特意去结交朋友

或许我觉得没有人能够与学校里的死党媲美吧

死党们，你们可别怀疑我

我是在说真话哦

第一个学期我都把大部分的时间花在课业上

幸运的是我没想太多

还是拿到了4.0

但是第二个学期的现在

我已经开始厌烦这样无趣无味的生活了

就如一个机器人重复着每一天的工作...

我很想丢下这些工作逃出去

可是

我心里很明白

这社会多么现实多么残酷

也就是弱肉强食的世界

现在满街上都是大学生

如果我们这些乳臭未干的“小孩”

连一张能够当“入门票”的文凭都没有

还怎么去生存呢？

你们说是不是？

知识啊知识，

你能不能告诉我

要怎么运用你才能致富？

要怎么运用你才能幸福？

因为我不懂得怎么运用你才是最好的选择...

现在的我

只知道如何背书、如何运用方程式计算

只知道如何找出答案

可是生活上应该如何将它发挥的淋漓尽致呢？

很多人都不知道

其实我只会纸上谈兵

我还不懂得如何真正运作

别太看得起我

我只是一个普通人

一个痛恨上学做功课的人

一个被现实所逼才努力的人。

人都是很脆弱的，

人本身就是有罪的，

灵魂里都有七大罪行

贪欲

强欲

愤怒

妒嫉

暴食

色欲

傲慢

这些大家都有，

关键就在于我们怎么去克服它们罢了。

My matriculation classmates

When I went to HongKong Ocean Park with family.

I have disappear for a long time, 

I think it is about 8 months I didn't update my post...

not because I had forgotten here, 

but it is because ...

every time after I logged in... 

I have bug in my mind... it's stuck by something...

causing I can't write anything...

However, 

Today, 3 days before my mid sem examination,

lastly, I have the mood to express my feeling at here.

Looked back the lastest post,

which is about the SPM result,

After that I went to study in Matricuation Perlis...

Something liked Pre-University.

In Matriculation College,

all of us have to stay in the hostle along the study period,

there are classes everyday except weekend,

and the classes started from 8 a.m until 4 p.m.

and there is only 1 hour lunch break everyday at the noon time.

it is just liked schooling life,

but this is the only fast lane to get in the local University.

I have no choice.

Beside, 

I know I hate study so much and much....

or you can also said I haven't find the interesting in study -.-

the first day of registration,

I still can't accept the reality that I have to stay in the hostle...

When my parents went back...

I'm shocked I wanna to cry...

It's normal right?

although I not the type of good girl

but once I was born,

I never eave my lovely home and stay away from home...

I'm must be unwilling and fear...

In this hostle life,

I didn't social much,

maybe there is none better than my dearest friends in the secondary school...

you'll think I was joking?

but this is the truth !

The first sem,

I spent much of my time on studying

and I was lucky to get 4.0

however,

now...which is the second sem,

I started to hate this bored life...

it is just like a robot who repeating the same thing everyday...

I wanna to ran out from here...

but,

I know that is impossible,

I know how cruel the world is,

There are a lots university  students on the road,

If the child like us...

didn't have the "ticket" 

how can we survive?

am I true?

May I ask the Mr.Knowledge,

can you tell me what is the effective to use YOU?

How can we get wealth?

How can we get blessed ?

I don't know the actual way to use YOU,

what I know is ...

memorizing factors, applying formula, and finding answers.

How can I use the knowledge in my life effectively?

Most if you don't know that...

I'm stupid ...

I can't apply knowledge in the real life...

Donn't overestimated me,

I'm only a normal student,

who hate go to class and doing homework

who work hard because of reality...

Human are every week,

and we have guilt  once we are giving soul,

which are,

Avarice

Strong desire

Anger

Jealousy

Gluttony

Lust

Arrogant

All of us have these guilts,

the right way to overcome it is how you look at these guilts.